been awhile since i updated. My parents are on vacation. they went to visit my grandpa. they got some news not from HIM but from Gloria his girlfriend. I guess they found cancer in his prostate. My mom doesn't know much and I guess he has a doc appointment the 30th and my mom did ask Gloria to call her and tell her what the doc says.
My grandpa is already saying that there is nothing that can be done and stuff my mom thinks that is because of what happened when they found cancer with my grandma.
but by the time they found it with her it had spread and there was really nothing they could do.
I am hoping for the best of course. i don't always get along with my gramps but he's still my gramps ya know. this is the grandfather that has been there for me all my life unlike my mom's dad.
as far as i know my grandpa still hasn't told my parents anything about the cancer and the only information has come from Gloria.

I did get other news my cousin cecilie was arrested for prostitution... this is the cousin i have written about before and there is a tag so you can read about when she was here before (here's the link http://anya1976.livejournal.com/tag/cecilie+drama ) I have to say i am not shocked that she's following in the footsteps of her crackwhore mother. I had hopes my cousin annette would clean her shit up but she obviously likes being a crackwhore.

I found out my Aunt (my dad's sister) and as far as i know only two of my older cousins are coming up here.
one(Carol) I have no problem with the other(Michelle) started a fight with me the last time she was here about 5 years ago.
Michelle stood in my kitchen screaming at me saying it was MY fault her family had a bad time in chicago. and it was MY fault she didn't get to visit with HER Uncle Tom (my dad) *uuum she made no attempt to do anything with my dad when he was home in the afternoons*
well they only came here for a free fucking place to stay they had no intention of visiting with us.
this was also confirmed by her daughter Brandee who felt the need to IM me and try to insult me and make sure she told me that was the ONLY reason they lowered themselves and stayed at OUR house.
After that my mom told my dad she didn't want these people in her house ever again.

I guess my aunt cookie got a 25ft RV and they are coming up here. I am not a happy camper.
My mother is not a happy camper.
For one they are coming this weekend or whatever well we are busy this weekend and already have people staying here (my aunt wants to know where she can park this RV my mom said not in OUR driveway).
Friday we are having the baby shower and now saturday we are having wings which means more people in our house.
who knows when they are showing up. My mom is pissed off like nobody's business.
I guess my Aunt just said they were coming without even asking him about it first. My father does not know how to tell them no. But let me ask him something and he says no right away go fuckin figure.

The last time Michelle and Brandee were here (not sure brandee is coming) but brandee stole stuff out of my mothers make up bag.
and she stole my tampons. Ok it's just tampons but this bitch decided to steal them.
My mother has said after they were here they were NEVER allowed back into this house.

I always stuck up for my cousins. all my life i'd get upset when i heard my mom say bad crap about them and i'd stick up for them.
after Michelle blew up at me I changed my tune. I have no respect for her or her mooch ass family. I would be glad if i never heard from these fuckers again. Actually i would welcome that.
My cousin annette is a crack whore and her daughter cecile is following in her footsteps I posted about cec b4 in the "cecilie drama"
These people are fucking worthless. honestly I never EVER thought i would ever say that about them they are my older cousins and i always looked up to them. I practically idolized them when i was young even though they got me in trouble had me smoke cigs so i wouldn't tell on them anymore Michelle was the first person to get me high when i was like 11 or 12.

I was so looking forward to thanksgiving and everything but this puts a damper on the whole thing. Not know when these assholes are going to show up.

It's been a bit since i had an actual "update".
Tonight my Mom and I went to get invitations for my sister in law's baby shower.
we got a couple decorations and some party favor things that we can put candy in for everyone who comes.
Ok I really hate to admit this but I am so jealous.  I'd love to have a baby. I am very happy for them and am excited to be an Auntie... but i am sooooooooooooooo jealous. I guess this is pretty normal huh. I mean I wasn't all that jealous when they were planning the wedding and crap but this baby stuff makes me feel that way.
I've always known that i've wanted kids. I mean i would never have had kids in my early 20's or anything without being married. I am kind of old fashioned that way. I believe a ring should come b4 kids. Granted it doesn't mean that a marriage will last but I don't want to be one of those "baby mommas" Have to deal with child support and visitation and all the drama that goes along with that. I'd like all my kids to have the same father too. A couple of my older cousins started popping out kids b4 the age of 20 and both of them have kids by different guys and I just don't want to have to deal with all that crap.
I remember when I turned 18 and my cousin michelle asked me when i was going to start having kids... like i was getting old or something.
I told her uum after i get married. Those girls were my poster girls for staying a virgin as long as i could lol and for NOT becoming a teenage mother. I wanted to be able to have fun and party and be with my friends. I didn't want to be a mom b4 I was ready.
I've taken care of kids since i was young(babysitting and all of that) I mean i knew what being a mom meant I wasn't thinking "oh i'll have someone to love me" or "this'll be fun" i realize kids are LOTS of work.
My cousin Annette had a kid when i was staying down in fla for a few months when i was 18 (the same trip michelle asked me when i was going to start having kids btw). Well as soon as Annette was home from the hospital with Dominic she was pretty much no where to be found. I was that baby's mommy.
I was up with him for the 4am feedings. I was changing poopy diapers and making sure he was soothed if he was crying his little head off. I was his mommy for a month or so until i decided i had enough of taking care of someone that obviously didn't give a shit's kid.

I love that baby. I haven't seen him since I left florida. My cousin lost custody of her kids because she's a crack whore (not exaggerating)
He lives with his dad I guess.  I have a couple pics of him and I from when i was down there and those are the only pics i have of him.
after i left, my cousin (the crack whore) said he cried all the time. well of course he did, he bonded with me he thought i was his mommy. It  makes me sad that I had to leave him, but I was 18 he wasn't my child and I couldn't get any more attached to him than i already was. It killed me to have to leave him. I know that him leaving  his mother to live with his dad was the best thing that ever could have happened to him. I've heard from Michelle or someone that Dominic is a special needs child. Not exactly sure what his disabilities are. I will probably never see him again, but i wish i could find him and tell him I took care of him for the first couple months of his life.
That experiance had a very profound effect on me. I guess it was like that show where people get to try on being a parent.
 At the time Annette had her 5 year old daughter with her and visitation with her 2 other children that lived with their grandparents. So if she took off when all the kids were there I was mommy to 4 kids. michelle's daughter brandi liked being with me rather than her dad so she would stay with me too. Brandi was 4 then.

I know i went off on a tangent but when i think of being a mom I think of dominic and what he meant to me. I will have to scan the pics i have and add them to this post once i finally do scan them.
I mean that experiance proved i was so not ready to be a mom then but honestly I pulled it off. I was glad that I was able to be a kid again afterwards that's for sure lol.

I am now 32 years old and I am so ready for having my own kids. I just have to figure out who i want to be the dad i guess lol
Hopefully I will end up having a truckload of kids (ok not a truckload and 1 maybe 2 depending on the whole pain of childbirth thing otherwise I can always adopt right lol)