David Letterman's Top 10 swipes at the McCain-Palin ticket -- chicagotribune.com:
David Letterman's Top 10 swipes at the McCain-Palin ticket
The late-night talk-show host hasn't missed an opportunity to skewer the candidates since McCain stood him up at the last minute.
October 17, 2008
Top 10 Letterman swipes at the McCain-Palin ticket
Since John McCain stood up David Letterman at the last minute Sept. 24, the "Late Show" comedian hasn't lost an opportunity to take a dig at the GOP presidential hopeful or his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.
10. "Sarah Palin is right now training for tomorrow's vice presidential debate in Arizona. And she says it's really helped her on foreign policy because from Arizona she can see Mexico."
9. "John McCain watched the debate and he loved Sarah Palin's performance. As a matter of fact, he applauded so much that all the lights in his house kept going on and off."
8. "By the way, have you heard this? This just in . . . a backwoods hiker has found the wreckage of John McCain's campaign."
7. "You know, I don't normally do this. I gave up drinking a while ago, but I started again. And I'm watching the debate last night and here's what I did -- I did a shot every time McCain said 'my friends.' So I'm blotto."
6. "Tom Brokaw was the moderator. . . . At one point Tom tells Obama and McCain that they were going to now answer questions that came in over the Internet. And you know what McCain said? He said, 'Uh, Tom . . . is that the same as the telegraph?' "
5. "At one point John McCain referred to Barack Obama as 'that one.' 'That one.' 'That one.' And McCain later . . . he apologized. He said he got confused. He thought he was at the bakery. 'Uh, a couple of crullers . . . uh, that one . . . and uh, that one.' "
4. "Sarah Palin. We like Sarah Palin, right? She's a lot of fun. Miss Alaska. She is saying that she doesn't know who Barack Obama really is. Doesn't know who Barack Obama is. That's interesting. She also doesn't know who Sarkozy is, Gordon Brown, Kim Jong Il, Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, Osama bin Laden, the list goes on and on."
3. "John McCain says he's going to win. John McCain is going to win the third presidential debate. Of course, he also told Custer the surge was working."
2. "John McCain is going to take this opportunity to unveil his new campaign persona. His new campaign personality, to really energize the last couple of weeks of the campaign -- Fighting Underdog. Fighting Underdog. That's John McCain and the campaign. And if that doesn't work, then he's going to go to Sadistic Yard Bull."
1. "You heard what happened at a rally yesterday. Sarah Palin mistook some of her supporters for hecklers. And you know, confusion happens in all walks of life. For example, a few weeks ago, John McCain mistook her for a legitimate candidate."