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why?

I don't understand it. Does it say somewhere on any of my profiles that I'd be good to use as fuck buddy? Last I checked i keep saying that is the main thing i don't want.
I am sure there are dozens of other women who wouldn't mind this role, but it is not the role for me. I want so much more than that. I want someone in my life that I can't live without.. not someone who calls me at 2 am cus they want to get laid. I want someone to make those grand romantic gestures not someone who is hanging out with me just to see if he can get some. I don't think that wanting these things are a bad thing or that my head is stuck in a story book or some romantic movie. I believe that there ARE actually others out there that do want these things (and yes I mean not just women).
Is it so hard to be a nice guy online these days? To just want to chat with someone to learn about their thoughts and feeligs without it always having to be sexual? I want someone to learn about ME not my bra size or what color hair I have. Outward appearances mean nothing I want someone to know me on the inside. My thoughts my fears my dreams my wants. Someone who wont laugh when I tell them even the most far fetched dream I have. Someone who would help me try to achieve these dreams no matter what they are.
I want the kind of love great novels are written about. The love that all those sappy songs are written about. That all encompassing love that you feel from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and throughout your whole soul. Where it almost physically hurts to be away from that person.
I know I can't be the only person who feels this way... I have to believe that there are others out there like me wanting these things. If i am the only person who does feel this way then this world is sadder than I ever thought it could be.
I want the kind of love that would drive 8hrs just because you just needed one kiss then turning around to leave cus you had work the next day.

I am sick of all the bullshit out there. I may be holding out for Prince fucking Charming but I have to believe that he's out there. I've seen people in love like that and I know I could have that too I just need to get past all the morons who end up passing thru my life. The people who make promises and never keep them. Who tell me one thing and not mean it at all. Who say they love me but can blow me off in the next breath. People who say that they want to be with me but never fight for me, never make me believe that they want me as bad as they say. all i ever wanted was one grand gesture. Just one. something that would put those feelings of doubt aside and tell me that you couldn't live without me. Words are words and anyone can say them. It takes more than just words. It takes feeling and emotion and something that can only be felt with your heart and seen with your soul.

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Hi, I am 36 year old BBW from outside Chicago. I loooove makeup. I also love to tan, listen to music, watch movies, hang out, pretty much anything a normal person likes to do. (I have links to my different profiles listed below)

This used to just be my makeup journal, but I have since started using it more and more for everyday things. Face of the day's will still be done but not the ONLY thing posted here.
Any of my FOTD pics will be listed with FOTD tags.(so check the tags plz)

Icons I have made will have an icon tag as well as the movie or show I made them from.
I created my own icon journal for my icons but I will post links to them here. I have Friend locked some of my older Icon posts so all those icons that are locked can also be found at my icon journal.
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